There aren’t too many couples who describe having not difficulties going back to their normal sex and affective lives. Fatigue, anxieties, full time dedication to the baby and even fear of feeling pain or getting hurt are just some of the reasons behind all this tension. With the right approach, however, you can face this step with more tranquility. The important thing is not to force it, right? Check out some useful tips and information:

Follow the necessary “leave”

In the case of a normal birth, the recommended wait time to go back to sex with penetration is around 30 to 40 days. This period of time is necessary to allow for the inside of the uterus to stop bleeding and heal. Now, a C-section, due to the bigger cut, calls for 60 to 90 days wait time.

Go slowly

The desire may be affected during this period since to the prolactin, the hormone responsible for the production of milk, affects the libido and dries up the vagina. Anxiety and fear can interfere with emotions and can make you more tense and uncomfortable. Therefore, go easy and don’t stretch your limits.

Using lube is crucial

Due to the hormones, the woman tends to be less lubricated after birth, especially if they’re still breastfeeding. So, even if you’ve been given the green light for intercourse, it’s possible that the lubrication isn’t ideal yet. In this case, the couple should devote a lot of time for preliminaries and adopt a water-based lubricant so the friction of the penis doesn’t cause discomfort or pain.

Educate yourself on contraceptive methods

Talk to your gynecologist about the contraceptive methods that work best for you, especially if you’re still breastfeeding. Lubricated condoms can be good allies to sex during this phase, seeing as contraceptive methods such as the pill or the ring can affect the milk supply.

Find a good position for yourself

There’s no “correct” position recommended when going back to having sex, which means the truth is: pick whichever one is most comfortable for you. In the beginning, some women prefer having sex while spooning (with your partner penetrating you from behind), because they feel safe and the penetration isn’t as intense. However, variations such as missionary and being on all fours are also allowed, if you’re up for it, that is.

It’s common for milk to leak during sex

Due to the stimulus and the intense hormonal production, it’s natural, in many cases, for milk to leak during sex. If this bothers you or your partner, you can use a padded bra whenever you have sex.

Keep realistic expectations

For many couples, the pent up tiredness, the adaptation to a new routine with the baby and the woman’s hormonal and physical changes can make things feel a little odd. The fear of feeling pain can also impede that the return to having sex doesn’t unfold like expected. There’s nothing stopping you, however, on trying new things during the following days or exploring new paths and affection and going back slowly.